The Calm Before the Storm

So I finished my second outline the night before last. I should premise by saying that I wrote the first outline the summer after high school, so I don't know if that really counts. It was fairly embarrassing to read over. I didn't actually use an outline for my first book. I mean, I had a clear view of my beginning, end, plot, and some points along the way, but I really wanted the story to carry me, not the other way around. And it did. But this one is different. I expect greatness from it, as it is my masterpiece and something I've had fighting to get out of my head for nine years. The thing I really liked about using an outline this time around is that it allowed me to tie in a bunch of twists and foreshadowing that I wasn't able to do before. Will save me a lot of time having to go back and fix things or add things that come into conflict later in the story.

That being said, I am both excited and nervous. Having a novel in your head is a very heavy burden to carry, and kinda makes me feel a bit crazy from time to time. I think I know why people like Steven King, Chuck Palahniuk, and Dean Koontz come off as such crazy fucks. It is a lot to walk about with dozens of characters, scenarios, scenes, and plot lines (some of which are strange, or downright disgusting) fighting to get out of your head. I go to sleep and dream of scenes (usually the same ones played over and over and over, with slight changes); I wake up wondering if this or that was a good decision. If this character is believable. If it's fair to do this to the reader, etc. So I'm excited to get it out, a sort of therapy for my author's psychosis, but I'm nervous because I know that it's SUCH a long, consuming process and that I will be eating, sleeping, and most especially DREAMING this book for the next six months to year. And despite edits, once it's out, it's out. You really can't go back and change anything fundamental without having to rewrite the entire book...not happening.

So as recommended by one of the heroes, Stephen King, I will set down the outline for a few days, to distance myself from the world of my characters and allow me a more objective view when I sit down to write and get up a year later.

I need a drink.

Song of the Blog- Crystal Castles-Reckless

Good vs. Good

So as I'm completing my second outline, and preparing to start the actually WRITING, I'm starting to notice something. My story has no bad guy. I mean, I really set out with this novel to prove that there is no right or wrong, that it's all relative to your situation, but I guess I never really thought that by doing so I was going to end up with a story with no antagonist. I know it's possible, of course, as both main characters are severely plagued by their personality "flaws", but I'm wondering if everyone else will get it. I'm reminded of Johnny Got His Gun, in a way, as there was no clear antagonist in that novel. It was an ideal that he fought against. Can an ideal BE an antagonist? And if both characters are flawed, in that way that us humans are, are there no good guys to sympathise with? Or will each individual choose one particular character to side with, and therefore hate the other one? Just some thoughts rattling around in my head.

On a side note, I'm starving and gonna grab some food before I sit down and write some more outline. Currently reading Sweetheart by Chelsea Cain, and I'm reminded a bit of my own writing style, minus the T&A, as she writes mortally flawed characters. But I absolutely love it. Plus she has this way with sex scenes that make them completely real, not corny or tacky, and written in a way that will put you in the story...in a good way. These are the same kinds of scenes I try and write as well, so it's nice to see someone else do it.

Song of the Blog-My Chemical Romance-You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison